I Am My Own Worst Enemy

21 10 2010

Well, lately I’ve been pondering what things I’m involved in and what things I’m committed to. I have a lot of hobbies.  A lot more than I used to anyway, and there are more hobbies that I am considering adding to my repertoire.  As most of you know I’m a bit of a cyclist, and lately I’ve also become a mountain biker.  And now I’m a rec league soccer player. I’m atrocious, but I play! (It hurts my ego and my body equally…) As we’ve learned I’m also into reading and writing. Soon I plan to add home brewing beer to the list.  We all want to be really good at the things we do.  We all dream about being the best at what we do, but I’m starting to hit my face on the reality wall.

For instance, I’m an average cyclist.  I’m not fast, I don’t have amazing endurance, and I don’t have great handling skills.  I land somewhere between not-embarrassing and serviceable on a good day.  Do I want to be better?  Obviously.  Am I committed?  Not at all.

Here’s the thing about commitment.  It requires sacrifice.  In most cases, big sacrifices.  To be an amazing cyclist you need a lot of things I don’t have and you have to make a lot of sacrifices I’m not willing to make.  It would require a dedication to training 6 days a week, maintaining a restrictive diet, and investing more time and money than I’m comfortable with.  That’s not to mention the superhuman, freak genes the true greats have.  And BAM!  That’s the reality wall.  Coming to the realization that I will never truly be great at some of the things I love to do can be a real downer, but I’ve also come to the realization that it’s acceptable to not be great at everything I love to do.

I may never be a competitive cyclist.  I may never shred the double black trails in Colorado.  I may never be a truly great writer.  I may never own my own beer brewery.  Does that mean I shouldn’t ride my bike, write blog posts, or brew beer?  Of course not!  It’s okay to be mediocre!  Embrace it!  Laugh about it.

So I’ve decided to be happy with my mediocrity.  Will I challenge myself to improve and grow in my hobbies?  Absolutely.  I will push myself on my bike, I will go faster and take bigger risks on the trails, I will try new hobbies like beer brewing, I will read everything I can get my hands on, write every chance I get and I’ll do whatever else I feel like doing.  Will I be disappointed when I have off days or if I don’t show big improvement?  Maybe a little bit, but I refuse to let it ruin my day.  If I have a bad day on the bike I will be thankful that I have the time and ability to ride a bike.  I will not let a bad day get in the way of my satisfaction and self worth.

I guess part of this came from me thinking that we tend to be hyper-critical of ourselves.  So often we judge ourselvesto be inadequate before even trying something.  If I tell myself I’m terrible I’ve sabotaged everything I try to do before I even start.  My whole life I’ve always said things like “I’m a terrible writer” and “Writing is not my strong point.”  It’s time we let our insecurities go, and it’s time to get out of our own way.  We cannot be afraid of the unknown.  We cannot let timid thinking get in the way of trying new things.  So maybe I turn out to not be great at writing.  Does that mean I shouldn’t write?  I will not quit just because I’m not great.  I will revel in my mediocrity and tomorrow I will try something new.

It’s fine to not be a pig about everything.  You don’t have to be completely committed to everything you do and you don’t have to be the best.  Just being involved is fine if you love being involved!  Then when you find that niche that you really feel great about, go big and be committed.  But until then, just keep trying new things and have fun doing what you’re doing!

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5 responses

21 10 2010
livingcurious

hey…great post!i love it.i could connect totally and for this content i know many will.well i m not a critic or anything..and i am new to reading also i must admit…but i love reading ur posts..i love the way u write…u are no mediocre a writer..u cud get me involved and also so committed now to reading ur posts..i m waiting to read more..its great fun…love it.. love it!

22 10 2010
GeoffersonSpin

Thanks for the kind words! I’m glad you enjoy the posts. Hopefully I can keep them coming. Thanks for reading!

22 10 2010
Dena Donnell

I agree baby brother…your writing is NOT mediocre! Keep the posts coming!

23 10 2010
GeoffersonSpin

Thanks big sis 🙂 I will certainly keep the writing up. Thanks for all the comments.

22 10 2010
livingcurious

love u for your response…thanks..

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